The Single Mama Hustle

At the end of my day Diego is in bed with dirty toes listening to Flamenco music I bought when I was in Spain. There is a calm quiet in this house now and there is still light from the day.

I don't know how these women do it alone; the ones who have four children, little family in the area, depression, heart break etc. I honestly don't know how they do...but I know they do and they are doing it now.

Today a friend of mine, who is married, helped with Diego. I took the boys to the park and returned to her house. She fed us and the boys played outside while their Papa was rebuilding the back yard.

My friend offered to watch Diego while I took a long nap upstairs. I jumped at the opportunity and was so thankful. I wandered up the old stair case and crawled into a warm bed that reminded me of beach house tucked away in the woods. I could hear the kids and then I heard, "Diego please don't hit Chase," and I thought "hell, mama is not getting a nap." I tuned out the loud "boy play" and finally fell asleep. It was so peaceful and wonderful. When I woke up I felt so refreshed and was ready for some more mama madness.

The boys just keep going and going and going and going. Forget the coloring and arts and crafts dream of mine. Diego wants to fight and kill and investigate insects, torture cats and hang food above dogs heads. He wants to run and play baseball, soccer, football, scooter, ninjas, knights. He wants to sprint with me to the end of the Universe, then he'd like a banana and he's ready to do it all over again.

At some point during the day I lost my shizzle, but very mildly :). My friend and I kept our cool for the most part and wondered if maybe our children are really DEAF and perhaps we should make an appointment first thing Monday morning (ha ha ha).

We talked about the whooping cough and nutrition. I cleaned a bloody elbow and a knee, applied Neosporin and one spider-man band aid. I ran a race with Diego (he won), I think I called his name about $10,000 times, I said mother of god under my breath, I listened to Usher's Climax song, I beat six eggs, made some salad dressing and I had a PB&J (on whole wheat thank you very much and only half a sandwich).

Today was wonderful....thanks to my baby boy and our good friends that help keep Diego and I sane. It take a village they say and I believe it does.

Thank you Lara, Chris, Caden and Chase for a wonderful Saturday! <3 from the bottom of my Fart....I mean Heart.... Happy Saturday! It's 7:56pm, my gas is lethal and I'm ready for bed!

The Tighest hold I've ever felt in my Life

She said, "Leah, just wait and he will come. Focus on you and D and find your hapiness." He said, "fill those holes in you that you want others to fill, the ones they can't fill. The ones only YOU can fill."

Heart. Hands. Tears. Hope. Walk Forward. Keep Going...

Kate nash - Nicest Thing Lyrics

Cherry Blossom Petals...

Cherry Blossom petals filled the air and the ground of Ballard this morning.
Everything was a light shade of pink.
As the wind twirled, I remembered a Vietnamese girl once told me that the wind is not good luck
for it holds spirits...
The wind twirled and whipped and each petal was like an emotion, every day I've lived, every step I've taken in this life, every person I've met, every kiss I've ever given (that's a hell of a lot of kisses ay de mi)...
While the wind whipped, I see the ground was the color of light pink cotton candy and I think of Shelby.
I imagined that she was there taking pictures...and I was standing there outside in the cold wind under a tree...my hair blowing, covering my face, whipping, twirling and beautiful.
Snap snap snap snap...
(I didn't take the picture....but you get the Gist).

We Found Love - Rihanna feat. Calvin Harris (Boyce Avenue piano acoustic...

Monday Love Day

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
― Rumi

“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.”
― Rumi,

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”
― Rumi


“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”
― Rumi

Once Upon a Sunday on Whidbey Island

"How fickle my heart how woozy my eyes."

"Lend me your eyes I can change what you see. But your Soul you must keep totally Free."

I record my life through words and pictures. I always have. I always will.

"In these bodies we will live. In these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love...you invest your life."

Once upon a Sunday on Whidbey....follow me...I'll tell you a story:

Humphrey Road takes me past orchards and horses, old houses, blackberry bushes, island homes, fancy people, farmers and long open country roads.

I spent so much of my childhood on Whidbey with no cable TV and for most of the time no telephone. As a teenager I was boy crazy and without a phone I was forced to read inappropriate biographies such as Elvis and Me (LOVED IT) and smoke Capri cigarettes with Jana Bentley on the beach while we wore our underwear on the outside of own jeans. We were so cool. OMG.

Back in the day before age 10 I remember I was bored to tears on Whidbey. Some days I would walk down trails in the hidden woods close to the cabin and make up adventure stories. Now when I think of it, it reminds me of Katniss Everdeen.

During my walks I collected berries and leaves and would make wilderness stew (but I never ate it only pretended). I also pretended that my true love was at the other end of the trail searching for me. (Hot damn....he must still be searching it's now 2012).

These days on Whidbey my maternal Grandma June and Grandpa Hubert watch over us: Grandma with a high ball in one hand and Grandpa listening to the Mariners with a pipe in his mouth.

Today D and I journeyed the beach. I left my cell phone at the cabin-we collected shells, threw rocks, investigated insects and driftwood. We ate, slept, laughed, read books, sat in silence, enjoyed Sunday jazz and listened to woodpeckers during our Sunday dinner.

At one point during the day I showed my step-dad (man who raised me. best example of a father to me TOM) my new read, "The Female Brain," to which he responded, "I didn't know they had one." Classic Thomas Schille humor/response.

After a long and beautiful Sunday, D and I made our journey back to the big City. On our way to the ferry I stopped in the middle of the open, warm country road and I took an Instagram picture of the surreal blue sky. I continued to drive. D and I were silent and our bellies full. We both need a bath, but we are so happy and thankful. I think of all the people I love and this crazy world. Today it makes sense (kind of)~ other days not so much. As Tracy Chapman Fast Car song began...Diego's eyes closed.

One that thing: you "may" find a picture of an odd woman sculpture. It was a present to our family...something about hair and not shaving. I have no idea what they are talking about (AY DE MI).

Today. Love. The Sea. Mi Vida. D. Peace. Entry of entry...