Sunday, July 15, 2012

A Safe Place

There is a place that is filled with the energy of heavy souls and the giggles of girls that grew up together; Girls that learned from each other about life and culture, boys, food, travel and the meaning of family and good friends.

This safe place is filled with people I never would have met if my life didn't take the turn it did when I was 10 years old and we moved to Queen Anne Hill.

Our younger days were filled with tomfoolery, piano lessons, choir practice, Esther's amazing cooking, Bill's cigar's, new trinkets, new diets, crass talk, and his openness about life and living.

When I am with the Du-Grafs I am in a safe place and they each hold a significant place in my heart.

As we've grown into our adult women skin we have become mothers, writers, teachers, artists and jazz singers.

We've moved away from our childhood homes, we traveled to faraway lands. We've taught in prisons and we've seen the other side of the United States that many never will.

When we return from our life journeys, we reunite in our hometown of QA where whispers of our past fill the warm summer air. We kiss and tell stories over good food, jazz or hip hop in the background and Bill's cackle fills my ear every time.

My life would not be the same without these lovely souls. I know that for sure.
I am inspired by each one of them and I am grateful for their kindness and authenticity over the years.

My Farabella, Isabella, Lauren, Esther and Bill (and Marcelina)...I love you grande...I always have...I always will.





























































Thursday, July 12, 2012

El Amor



I'm supposed to be in bed, but I just jumped out of bed because I have these thoughts and emotions and inspiration and tears and it must all be written down. now. today. And so here I am....blogging.

I watched the Seattle Channel tonight and saw so many different artists it was beautiful. They asked one choreographer to describe himself in one word. He said that he couldn't and that was for others to decide.

If I had to describe my life in one word from beginning to now or if I had to describe in one word what life means to me it would be: LOVE.

Some never have it, they don't know it, they don't own it, they don't know the smell, they yearn for it, search for it, others can't forget it, it scares them, burns them etc.

So many need it...they just do and it's so easy to extend your hand or words or time...in the end, for me at least,it's all about love.

When my maternal grandmother was on her death bed in her 90s she looked into my mother's eyes and said, "do you think my mommy loved me?" Some never ask and she did and I'm so glad. As much as it breaks my heart...that's all she needed, wanted and deserved.

There are so many people in my life that I love passionately, intensely and forever.

I've always loved like this and I always will. Even though I carry around this magnificent heart it wasn't until recently that I found out what I deserved. Something clicked, a weight was lifted and once again I was never the same.









































Monday, June 25, 2012

Passionate Love Ride

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there. ~Rumi

I may already be there...

I inspired a dear friend of mine to write a poem. She wrote:

Love..could this be? You and I connected for eternity. A love so pure and divine warming me, soothing me touching me from the inside.

No form or fashion, no arrogance or pride just you and me united on this passionate love ride.

Monday. Love Day. Today is beautiful so far. I've seen numerous people, conducted a urinalysis, sat in on a Theft Awareness class. It's now 12:42. I'm eating my spinach salad and counting my blessings.

Breathe. Believe. Love.

I've got the bug and it's oh so fine.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

New Jewels New Lovelies

My Emma June

Beautiful Days.

"Embrace this right now life while its dripping; while flavors are excellently wholesome. Take your bites with bravery and boldness since the learning and the growing are here in these times, these exact right nows. Capture these times. Because it will soon be very different." –Jill Scott

It all started with a conference I attended at Seattle’s Town Hall on Thursday 06-07-2012: Trauma Stewardship-Raising awareness and responding to the cumulative toll on those who are exposed to the suffering, hardship, crisis or trauma of humans, living beings or the plant itself.

Trauma Stewardship

The conference was totally new age, hippie, Buddhist ideas (some) totally up my alley. I was inspired and took 5 full pages of notes that included, tips, quotes, painful stories, ideas for change, ways to purge our chaos at the end of each day; how to bring your best self to work every day, how to be a good co-worker, friend and parent. The conference was wonderful. The woman who wrote the book and lead the conference was beautiful in mind, body and spirit. She was a spit fire and talked a million miles a minute. I was going to ask her if she had a side of methamphetamine with her breakfast sandwich and lunch, but I declined. I think she would have laughed any way.

If you take care of an ill parent or loved one, if you work in social services, have a disabled child or simply are losing your mind with society and the insane beautiful people that inhabit this planet, then I say by all means, attend this seminar and/or purchase the book. If you know anyone that could benefit from the book, but do not have the funds, I believe this organization would send the materials to you or them FREE OF CHARGE.

FRIDAY 06-08-2012-At the end of my day I purged the chaos from work, home and other. At the end of my day. I saw a client that I hadn’t seen in a while. She was dope sick. She was shaking, toxins were escaping all over her body. She couldn’t look me in the eyes. She said she would return Monday and she left. The longest she’d ever gone without heroine in 8 years was 48 hours. She is 22 years old.

Friday night I had a wonderful happy hour of coconut prawns for an amazing $5.50 at La Isla in Ballard. It was 10pm, we sat outside because the place was so jamming there were no seats. It was lovely and the tostones were perfect with tons of garlic (YIKES). Puerto Rican cuisine in Ballard. Their happy hour is amazing. Their wait staff is so so. Just tell the ladies to quit sucking on lemons and get “some.”

SATURDAY 06-09-2012 was wonderful and playful. Coffee at Ballard Coffee Works, talking, writing, watching Salman write words for me in Farsi while his wild curls blew in the wind. From the coffee shop we continued to second Saturday art walk where we ventured into numerous shops, analyzed art, colors and words. We were inspired. We tried on hats and took pictures and laughed like children and continued our journey down Ballard Avenue. For dinner we hit Monkey Bridge and it was wonderful. Salman had never had Vietnamese cuisine and loved it even though he hasn’t tried it for years simply because he assumed he wouldn’t like it. I told him that almost always I don’t like food, songs or people at first and then I fall hard in love and I’m never the same.

SUNDAY 06-10-2012 Fremont Market with my dearest friend Patricia of CROWANDIRIS. We set up or stand in space 48 with beautiful people around us, the sun shining and peace in the air. The market was bustling with people and feline and other walks of life (HOLLER). We wrote, we ate, we drank water, we hugged, we laughed, we practiced wire wrapping.

Carolyn and her love of life, Jacob, came and graced us with their presence and white bellies. Jacob also performed some original hip hop free style verses with a side Ellensburg coffee shop slang and a side a white boy gone wild. Jacob's curls are fantastic and “their love” is a kind, authentic, fill your belly kind of love. I knew that Carolyn adored him from day one…..long ago, once upon a time.

At one point during the day I heard the faint twang of a southern accent and my Leah antennas stood up. I moved closer the customer and inquired as to her residence. She said she and her husband were visiting from Georgia. Her husband was this man that you knew was trouble from a mile away, but he had a kind smile and with that I felt a kindness in his heart. I looked at him and said, “I smell the right to bare arms and I smell a weapons permit.” He laughed and in response said he has numerous weapons and works in law enforcement in Georgia. He said “we should kill them all, you know a bullet only costs .50.” I said I can concur with some views towards rapists, murderers and the like. We laughed with big bellies and I asked him how he liked Seattle and he said, “Ma’am it’s definitely not home, but I’m just here to see my baby girl graduate.” We talked about police brutality and he agreed that excessive force was simply not appropriate, and even though our differences were so stark we were able to laugh and I adored him. I exchanged business cards with he and his wife. I told him to check out my blog and that it was very LIBERAL and he said with a smile, “ma’am I don’t even know how to spell liberal.” I died laughing as did he. His southern twang is still in my head.

I met and saw many lovely people today. I had some familiar visitors that embraced me, hugged me, kissed me, fed me and loved me. I saw Addie and Jenna and Lara, Caden and Chasers. Chasers blew me kisses and Caden shared his deli sandwich with me and ate all of the M&Ms out of my trail mix.

After the market closed and the bustle dissipated, I took a calm walk down the canal and stopped at a bed of green grass by the water. I was close to the Fremont Bridge. The sky was blue, the waves were sparkling and boats were leisurely sailing by. I lay in the grass with Mr. Curls. We were silent just taking the weekend in. It was beautiful. Later we made ceviche with octopus YUM amazing while listening to Susana Vaca.

Later we watched some Ted Talks with a side of Pear Cider beer and then an Almodovar Film, Hable con Ella. I had seen the movie a few times, but it’s good to watch Almodvar films more than once so you catch all the little details that you missed the first few times around. The movie was heavy with a side of loneliness and misery. It made me miss Spain something fierce: their passion, their loyalty to each other, and their ambivalence in the most awkward situations.

At the end of the night I had the worst case of 12 year old giggles. My stomach hurt so bad, I almost peed and I was literally on the ground and almost stopped breathing. Of course I have no idea what set off the giggle madness, but the only thing that matters is that laughing is beautiful and cures many wounds.