Friday, July 20, 2012

34 Years

34 tears this year
more hope than fear
my life is more clear
Self love. finally.
it's pure.
I ran to the edge of a cliff
with his heart.
Whatever happens
I have today
I have now.

"There will come a time you'll see
with no more tears
and love will not break your heart
and dismiss your fears
get over your hill and see
what you find there
with grace in your heart
and flowers in your hair." ~Mumford and Sons

Sunday, July 15, 2012

A Safe Place

There is a place that is filled with the energy of heavy souls and the giggles of girls that grew up together; Girls that learned from each other about life and culture, boys, food, travel and the meaning of family and good friends.

This safe place is filled with people I never would have met if my life didn't take the turn it did when I was 10 years old and we moved to Queen Anne Hill.

Our younger days were filled with tomfoolery, piano lessons, choir practice, Esther's amazing cooking, Bill's cigar's, new trinkets, new diets, crass talk, and his openness about life and living.

When I am with the Du-Grafs I am in a safe place and they each hold a significant place in my heart.

As we've grown into our adult women skin we have become mothers, writers, teachers, artists and jazz singers.

We've moved away from our childhood homes, we traveled to faraway lands. We've taught in prisons and we've seen the other side of the United States that many never will.

When we return from our life journeys, we reunite in our hometown of QA where whispers of our past fill the warm summer air. We kiss and tell stories over good food, jazz or hip hop in the background and Bill's cackle fills my ear every time.

My life would not be the same without these lovely souls. I know that for sure.
I am inspired by each one of them and I am grateful for their kindness and authenticity over the years.

My Farabella, Isabella, Lauren, Esther and Bill (and Marcelina)...I love you grande...I always have...I always will.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

El Amor

I'm supposed to be in bed, but I just jumped out of bed because I have these thoughts and emotions and inspiration and tears and it must all be written down. now. today. And so here I am....blogging.

I watched the Seattle Channel tonight and saw so many different artists it was beautiful. They asked one choreographer to describe himself in one word. He said that he couldn't and that was for others to decide.

If I had to describe my life in one word from beginning to now or if I had to describe in one word what life means to me it would be: LOVE.

Some never have it, they don't know it, they don't own it, they don't know the smell, they yearn for it, search for it, others can't forget it, it scares them, burns them etc.

So many need it...they just do and it's so easy to extend your hand or words or the end, for me at least,it's all about love.

When my maternal grandmother was on her death bed in her 90s she looked into my mother's eyes and said, "do you think my mommy loved me?" Some never ask and she did and I'm so glad. As much as it breaks my heart...that's all she needed, wanted and deserved.

There are so many people in my life that I love passionately, intensely and forever.

I've always loved like this and I always will. Even though I carry around this magnificent heart it wasn't until recently that I found out what I deserved. Something clicked, a weight was lifted and once again I was never the same.